It's Only Going to Get Worse...

Have you ever had this conversation?

You're chatting with someone about being newly pregnant. They ask you how you are feeling and you share that you are queasy in the mornings and hormonal. And without hesitation they reply, "Just wait until the end of your pregnancy. You'll be so uncomfortable..it's only going to get worse."

In other words: "Invest in a flame retardant suit. Because this is the hell that is your life and you're never getting out."

Picture a little further down the road, when your fussy 2 month old just won't sleep or eat or poop the way you'd like them to. You've dragged your tired butt to church, even though you would have liked to skip it and have leaky boobs in the comfort of your own home. And the seasoned mother next to you with wisdom in her eyes turns and says, "Just wait until they are toddlers. It's only going to get worse."

Then those babies become toddlers. And your co-worker tells you grade schoolers are worse. "Enjoy your kids while they are little and you can still put them in time out."

Well, as we know those toddlers become grade schoolers. Those grade schoolers become tweens and teens and college students, and on and on and on.

I was once that green-hued, sickly pregnant mother. I was the leaky breasted mom at church fantasizing about formula. I AM the mother of a toddler and pre-schooler who push my buttons on the daily. And I have stood on the edge of the pool of insanity, grasping for anything, just trying not to fall in. And with your "It only gets worse" comment, I gave up and tumbled into the murky waters. 

When our daughter was an infant, I struggled with post partum anxiety and depression. Of course, I hid this from the general public for a time and appeared to be a functioning member of society. Perhaps people would have been a titch more sensitive had they known. However, during that period, I heard "It's only going to get worse" more than I care to remember when I talked about my cranky baby. So I resigned myself to believe that parenting is a prison. An 18-year sentence. And hey, on the bright side, I had it better than most in the penitentiary --  I still had access to Netflix.

But then a funny thing happened, to the surprise of generations of parents before us...things got better. Our little girl grew out of her baby-rage phase. She started to respond to us with smiles and love. I came out of my anxiety (with help).

So we've got four years under our belt now with two kids. And there have been difficult moments, days, weeks, and stages when I wanted to lock myself in a room (with a beach and a book) and pretend I wasn't a mom. There will be more ahead. But despite the fact that folks around us think that parenting is a pit of despair that only a trip to college can get us out of, we have had a lot of joy. AND THERE WILL BE MORE AHEAD.

Parenting might get harder. In fact, I can almost guarantee it will. I'm dreading school bullies, technology battles, and conversations about "sexting." But through those, there can be joy and most certainly a whole lot of grace from the Lord. And He allows us to grow as parents as our children grow. The challenges might be bigger, but so is our parenting tool box. And I hope that in your box you will find a tool you can share with your new-parent friend -- ENCOURAGEMENT!

Put the snide remark away and replace it with, "You can do this. You will get through this. And there will be so much joy. It will all be worth it." And also, "Can I hold your baby while you go change your shirt? You're disgusting."